conflicted

an ancient feud exists within
torn betwixt
two warring desires

-the heartfelt notion-
to celebrate the joy you bring
shouting proclamations
that sound suspiciously
like
your name
from hilltops
i'd channel mjb
and sing
youuuuuuuuuu are...
myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy e-ver-y thing...

and still

-the irrepressible doubt-
which leads to niggling need
not to
JINX
this simple good thing
at once
tangible and inexplicable
surreal and so so real

I can
see touch smell
taste
FEEL
it
and you

yet history confirms
that all things
fade
shift
evolve
decay

pessimistic? perhaps
i prefer
pragmatist
striving for happiness
in all i do

somehow that has come to include you

fine line walked
balancing on the brink
between self-preservation
and prophecies self-fulfilled
bracing for disaster
while seizing each day
still unsure of tomorrow
while hanging on every word you say

heart heralds your approach with
finest trumpeteers
mind reins me in with countless facts
that reinforce worst fears

I could go on and on and on
but really what’s the use
I’d rather close my eyes and breathe you in
how about it…truce?