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Friday, April 8, 2011

Grief cycle

Seeking solace

From a self-imposed hell

Swinging pendulum wide

from step 2 to step 5 and back again

Angry at feeling so connected to another human being

Accepting of the reason for this overdue season of distance

Disappointed that I allowed myself to grow attached

despite early warnings of certain doom-state

(like a hurricane survivor who wouldn't -or couldn't?- evacuate)

Fearful of the permanence of change…the possibility

That once was…will never be again

Aching all around the edges of the gaping hole he left

Unsolicited images flood my brain

I move from one distracting task to the next

Taunted by

  • a toothbrush & shampoo bottle overlooked in the rush
  • leftovers left over from our last shared meal
  • an overflowing container of unemptied trash
  • a radio still tuned to weather & traffic
  • a username called forth by my cache
  • a spot on the rug where we last made magic

Sharp throbbing through the center of my core

Grieving still

That what once was…isn’t anymore

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Wisdom of Whitley Gilbert

relax...
...all i ever wanted was the gift of time
energies exchanged
lightened moods and words
- your words -
entwined with mine
in a sublime
duet
that went to show how
intimately
one can...

relate...
one to another
sister to brother
daughter to mother
lover to lover
...cipher...
beyond linear
through stanzas
unspoken inkblood
tells stories independent of
writer and reader
...stories spilled over begging

release...
...like a long-anticipated date
tracked on cement walls
3 wise words
from an unlikely sage
your gift from me
be free
nothing holds you back
be free
new heights await
be free