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Friday, April 8, 2011

Grief cycle

Seeking solace

From a self-imposed hell

Swinging pendulum wide

from step 2 to step 5 and back again

Angry at feeling so connected to another human being

Accepting of the reason for this overdue season of distance

Disappointed that I allowed myself to grow attached

despite early warnings of certain doom-state

(like a hurricane survivor who wouldn't -or couldn't?- evacuate)

Fearful of the permanence of change…the possibility

That once was…will never be again

Aching all around the edges of the gaping hole he left

Unsolicited images flood my brain

I move from one distracting task to the next

Taunted by

  • a toothbrush & shampoo bottle overlooked in the rush
  • leftovers left over from our last shared meal
  • an overflowing container of unemptied trash
  • a radio still tuned to weather & traffic
  • a username called forth by my cache
  • a spot on the rug where we last made magic

Sharp throbbing through the center of my core

Grieving still

That what once was…isn’t anymore

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Now that's some real talk there. Really gut wrenching, but I think it exactly describes the nightmare of a break up. I loved "fearful of the permanence of change...the possibility that once was....will never be again"

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  2. aw. this is so universal in its specificity, beautiful and aching. hope you are well!

    i stopped by to say this: As Poets United reaches its first anniversary this coming week we want to thank you for your support. Over the past year we have grown to 250 members plus and are steadily growing. Poets United is proud to have you as one of our members and look forward to another successful year. Your imagination, creativity and willingness to share with us is what makes our community such a wonderful place. Thank you for beautiful poetry and thank you for being a part of Poets United.

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